Weddings
by Her Name Is Erika
Summary: Those are tears induced by the fact that you will be up and close as you watch Logan marry a girl that isn’t you. And as a scientist, and an intellectual, this is one fact you can’t deny. QL.


**A/N: New oneshot. Enjoy, I guess. It's sort of set in the future. I'm in a shitty mood, so be prepared to be depressed. It's QL, sort of.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own it.**

* * *

**Weddings**

You're a scientist so you know that experiments shouldn't be based on assumptions. Most assumptions aren't facts anyway, but this one is. It's the fact that people naturally assume that her stubborn and headstrong personality compliments his cocky yet charming personality quite nicely. You hate this fact, but manage a small smile, as there are people – family and friends from both sides – that are socializing with each other. 

Their playful banter does mesh quite nicely to your ears, as the mere thoughts make tears well up in the corners of your eyes, which are hidden behind your glasses, thinly-rimmed with black, but compliments your darker red dress. You're their maid of honor, even though you can't be _his_ bride. Ironic, really.

A deep male voice above you makes you look up in that direction, and there he is. In a black and white tuxedo, with a white rose pinned at his lapel, an uncharacteristically gentle smile touches his lips. You can't help but smile back at him, because it reminds you of your senior prom, only five years ago. Five years ago, you graduate but split up going separate ways. California becomes his permanent home, while you go to Princeton and never look back.

You're not alone either. You meet David, a Biochemistry major at Princeton just like you, and allow yourself to love him as much as you're sure he loves you. You can't lie to yourself, though. You know that your heart will never be fully open to him, even though he treats you so well. 

Yet this wedding is so nostalgic and reminds you of the high school days where you are so in love, so in tune with each other that it sometimes scares you. You live in New York, but it doesn't stop him from calling to see, "what's up?" all the way from California. He's so sweet in his own way and that makes you want to cry. 

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure," you reply, as you stand and follow him outside to a place that is so beautiful to you. The only time you're in church is for a wedding, and a funeral. Right now, you'd prefer it to be a funeral even though it's a joyful occasion. The weather reflects it as the sunlight bounces off the walls stained glass windows, sending an array of different colours. It completely mesmerized her. 

"I'm completely nervous, so you know. Say something to reassure me," he says, with a hint of playfulness, but at the same time, you can't help but notice that he's genuinely nervous. You let a small laugh because it's between laughter, and tears. Laughter is the best way to go; even it's a lie, but you afraid you'll start to tear up. And you're terrified you won't be able to stop.

Tears of joy? 

You live on polar ends of the country, yet the truth is farther than the distance between the two of you. It's incredibly vindictive even thinking about it, but just maybe he'll confide in you, and tell you that he's getting cold feet. He'll tell you that this wedding is a mistake. It's a selfish thought that leaves David's heart in the balance, and you can't bear to hurt him. You've has been blessed with not only an intellectual mind, but a conscience that prohibits you from being selfish, and a heart that is as big as your cranium.

It almost pains you to say these words. But over the years, you've become best friends. You'll treasure that even though you can't be anything more. 

"Logan, seriously. You're getting married and your only alternative is to have me reassure you?"

"Well, my mother is sobbing her eyes her out so much I can't understand her, my sister is eleven and although she loves me, she's dead set on the wedding cake afterwards. You're the only sane person right now," he replies, his eyes shining, and you know that's when he's truly happy. "I've come to understand that you're my best friend, Quinn… We're cool."

"You're mine too," you say, and is surprised that your voice is so whisper quiet. In a gesture, only he knows how to do, you feel yourself being wrapped in his arms in a hug. You hug back, suppressing the tear that wants to fall out of your eyes, and travel down your chin. You pull away from him. "I care about you, Logan, and your happiness. So go out there, and break a leg…"

Logan gets a confused expression, but there's a grin he pulls, and it makes you laugh. 

"You meant that literally, or is it one of those metaphor things?"

"Maybe I meant a bit of both…"

"Ouch, Pensky," he says, his voice tainted in mock offence, as he places a hand on his heart. "How you wound me so…"

You lightly swat his arm. It's something you do in a playful and light manner. In doing so, it's like keeping those memories of Eskimo kisses, linking hands under the table as you and him argue and make it seem real and genuine. But yet, as he pretends to absolutely despise you and vice versa, you try not to blush as he's gently stroking your hand. 

He lets go periodically, and then grabs it again. 

And it is you who lets go, as you 'storm' off angry, only to be alone with him on the beach. You feel bad for retaining all of us this even though there's a tall and handsome aspiring doctor-of-a-boyfriend waiting for you on the outside. 

But his bride also waits for him, and you're sick to your stomach.

"…but thanks. I knew you'd help me feel better. You know if David hurts you, I'll kick his ass, right?" he says softly, moving closer to you and before you open your mouth to reply, he plants a kiss on your lips. It's his wedding day, and he's getting married to one of your friends, yet you find yourself kissing the groom back. The sky will darken, you'll hear the steady roll of thunder, and you're sure that lightning will pierce the stained coloured windows of the large church and strike you dead on the spot for being so unfaithful. And in a church of all places. Yet he kisses you like he did as you sit crying on that bench so many years ago.

His lips are gentle, and soft, and the scent of his cologne wafts past your nose. He's indulging in your familiar scent of strawberries, because your tongues mix and merge, and he lets out a small in your mouth. It's so whisper quiet, only you can hear it. The necessity of air becomes the main issue now

You slowly pull away, and you're grateful your lip gloss doesn't smudge. 

There is so confusion in your eyes, and you can't register what the hell just happened. And you're the smart one. You can't kiss back. You can't let him hold your hand again. You can't. You can't. _You can't_. But you can't help it, either. 

"Logan, I don't… I…"

He lets go of your hand, and is unnaturally calm for someone who just kisses another woman mere minutes before they are bound to someone else for life. Is he really willing to damn himself to a life of unhappiness after the kiss almost screams neediness, and lack of restraint?

"God, and you're supposed to be smart one, right?"

Still no words can come out.

"I care about you too a lot, Quinn. I said it when we were teenagers at PCA, and dating. I still mean it. You have no idea," he says, looking you straight in the eyes. He reaches over planting a light kiss on your cheek before you hear him let out a sigh, and your feet are rooted to the spot as you watch his retreating figure move away from you. There are tears that blur and cascade down your cheeks, as you try to assess what transpires. They are warm as they fall down your cheeks in salty, clear drops. 

You're sure Dana's radiant and glowing. 

You're sure Dana's dress will flow down the aisle beautifully, as you stand watching from the outside looking in.

You're sure that the assumptions everyone makes about them – they're a beautiful couple, and that they're going to last a lifetime – will animate and come to life, as they utter vows and seal the deal with a kiss, and matching wedding bands. 

With this slapping you so hard in the face, you can't help but shed all the tears you've been keeping in. Dehydration is the last thing on your mind. 

"Quinn, sweetie. There you are," David's voice reaches your ears, and your stomach just takes a leap from the usual place to your throat. You meet his warm hazel eyes, full of genuine concern and love for you. You feel so inferior and small. "Hey, the wedding hasn't even started yet, and you're already emotional?"

You want to laugh at his naivety. Really, you do.

"I'm sorry, Dave," you reply, wiping at your eyes, and is grateful for the person that thinks of waterproof eyeliner, even though there's a chance, you'll improve it. He smiles, making the dimples show in his cheeks. The baby face look really works for him. David hugs you, kissing the bridge of your nose. 

"It's okay. It really is. Logan and Dana are your high school friends, so it's okay…" David says, hugging you, and pulling you close to him as you push the bridge of your glasses up to your nose. You quiet sniffle, and rest your head on the chest of the man you blatantly cheated on. You hear the steady beat of his heart, even though you broke it without his knowledge. 

You love David. You really do. But you can't escape Logan, and it's a scary thought. 

And other days, it's the most comforting thing you can rely on.

"It's just that…weddings have an effect on me," you reply, your voice sounding broken but truthful, pulling away from your boyfriend. He thinks those are tears of joy coming out. 

Those are tears induced by the fact that you will be up and close as you watch Logan marry a girl that isn't you. 

And as a scientist, and an intellectual, this is one fact you **can't** deny. 

* * *

**A/N: Nothing to say besides the fact that I will be spitting out oneshots for the time being. I have no time on my time to update my regular stuff. It's one thirty AM, and I'm tired. Excuse any grammatical errors you might see. **

**I'm still in my crappy mood, but I'm sure I'll be back to my regular semi-bitchy self by Monday, but now I'm feeling "super bitchy" as my friends said today.**

**You know the drill. **

**-Erika**


End file.
